PSL (closed)
[The shop had finally settled again. It was a bit of a relief, because it hadn't anchored to a world in nearly two weeks, and Watanuki's food stores had started to run low. A shopping trip would be in order, mostly to replenish his nonperishable before the shop set out looking for another world in need of his help.
Usually Watanuki could guess when a move was about to happen, but sometimes it happened out of the blue. Like this last move, which had come so soon after arriving in the previous world. That usually meant that his services were in dire need and that people's souls were calling out to him, even if they didn't quite know it themselves yet. Watanuki would just have to wait for them to come to him.
His first visitor, at least, wouldn't take too long to get there. Watanuki always had a sense of when someone was to arrive, and as soon as the shop's gates had opened and revealed itself to the busy streets of Yokohama he had felt the impending arrival of a customer. It was enough to pique his interest, because he didn't usually get a visitor on the same day after a shop move. Someone was very perceptive, it seemed.
By the time his guest would arrive, Watanuki had already set up some tea in one of the sitting rooms. The summer was at its end, and the cool breeze felt nice enough that Watanuki had decided to open the movable doors to reveal the backyard, which was still bathed in the greens of summer. They could stay cool without the need of an air conditioner that way.
From there, he waited. He had a feeling that his guest was a particularly clever one, so he felt sure that they would find their way to the sitting room on their own.]
Usually Watanuki could guess when a move was about to happen, but sometimes it happened out of the blue. Like this last move, which had come so soon after arriving in the previous world. That usually meant that his services were in dire need and that people's souls were calling out to him, even if they didn't quite know it themselves yet. Watanuki would just have to wait for them to come to him.
His first visitor, at least, wouldn't take too long to get there. Watanuki always had a sense of when someone was to arrive, and as soon as the shop's gates had opened and revealed itself to the busy streets of Yokohama he had felt the impending arrival of a customer. It was enough to pique his interest, because he didn't usually get a visitor on the same day after a shop move. Someone was very perceptive, it seemed.
By the time his guest would arrive, Watanuki had already set up some tea in one of the sitting rooms. The summer was at its end, and the cool breeze felt nice enough that Watanuki had decided to open the movable doors to reveal the backyard, which was still bathed in the greens of summer. They could stay cool without the need of an air conditioner that way.
From there, he waited. He had a feeling that his guest was a particularly clever one, so he felt sure that they would find their way to the sitting room on their own.]

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...eh?
[He blinked. Wait, wasn't this a touch too intimate?
Dazai's eyes widened. To his horror, his cheeks began to warm, though the twist in his chest was enough to kick his brain back into gear in time for a comeback.]
Are you asserting yourself as the dom in this relationship?
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And it really was an intimate move. Something about Watanuki's gaze made it seem like he was staring right through Dazai's eyes and into his very soul. Given his ability to 'see that which was not normally seen', it was possible that's actually what he was doing.
But after a moment he sighs and lets go, answering Dazai's question flippantly.]
Someone would have to be. You're a complete, 100%, no denying it, bottom.
[Well that certainly was something?]
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Time to play tit for tat, with Dazai reaching up to pinch both of Watanuki's cheeks. This had the bonus of helping hin regain his footing - look at who was looming over whom, now.]
Oi, oi, oi, Mr. I-Have-Better-Suitors. Is this part of some non-traditional omiai interview that I'm not aware of?
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Of course not, I'm not in the market for a bride!
[It was at that point that the fuzzy scarf around Watanuki's neck finally moved. A tiny fox-head poked out from where it had been resting, and it made an angry squeak before bopping its head against Dazai's arm.]
It seems the Nakodo doesn't approve of you anyway.
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[The fur boa was alive! The bop wasn't actually painful, though Dazai did take a step back, clutching his arm and leaning back in dramatic fashion. What sorrow! What despair and utter misery this afternoon has come to!]
Ahh, I've been rejected! By an angry squeaky fur accessory, no less! [He hugged his knapsack, because it was the 'safety blanket' within reach, and pressed his face on it while giving loud, fake sobs.] How could you?
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That's Mugetsu, and he is one of my oldest friends. Anyone interested in being a suitor needs to win his approv- GAH!
[So much for his lecture on doing right by his friends. While Watanuki was mid-sentence, Mugetsu had seemingly finished with squeaking at Dazai and had dove right down the front of Watanuki's kimono.]
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Dazai peeked out from behind the knapsack and slyly pointed at the lump of Mugetsu.]
Your Nakodo seems to be biased.
Motion to find an impartial judge, your honor.
[Yes, there was something wrong with that line.
Shhh.]
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[Mugetsu is absolutely biased.]
It's not like that! He's a good friend who has remained at the shop with me for some time. He's also a pipefox and literally a fox spirit and I'm not a furry!
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[And he absolutely hadn't.]
Is this what you mean by me being tame? Certainly, I wouldn't dare make such a controversial suggestion, lest I besmirch your honor. Your pool of possible fiances is restricted as it is!
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I changed my mind. I'm not calling in a favor to get your weapons attuned to your soul.
[And then he hung the phone up rather roughly for dramatic effect.
Nevermind that he had hung it up before, and he had to actually pick it up off the hook before slamming it back down.]
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The phone slam was just petty, though.]
Maa, maa, maa, let's not be hasty. [Dazai gave him his most charming smile and slung the knapsack over his shoulder.] I hadn't meant to insult you, or dig too deep on a potentially sensitive subject.
Besides, isn't this part of your preparations for what might be inevitable? I'd hate to get in the way of managing this precarious situation we may find ourselves in.
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Sweet-talking won't work, you know.
[But damnit, he was right. This was a preparation that needed to be done for his sake as well, so he couldn't just call the whole thing off. What a position to be in.]
...Fine. Express remorse for teasing me, and I'll forgive you.
[But he had already apologized??? Or was Watanuki overlooking that?]
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By getting on his knee and extending one hand, the other pressed to his chest.
See those shoujo sparkles? They're remorseful ones.]
Then, I sincerely beg for your forgiveness, o mercifully kind and wonderful shopkeeper. This humbled one would be grateful for you overlooking this incident.
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Gritting his teeth, he grabbed for Dazai once more to try and yank him to his feet. ]
Fine, fine! Just stop the sparkling thing! You're giving me a headache.
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Your generosity is very much appreciated!
[He'll also just. Not take his hand back yet. If he was dropped like a hot potato, though, he'd lean on the wall next to the phone, trying to see if there were any cords attached to the unit.]
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Interestingly, it was a normal phone, cords and all. Outdated, but normal. The number Watanuki dialed was only 4 digits long though. ]
Hey, do you think you can make a house call today?
[And then Watanuki held the phone out, pointing it towards an open spot in the kitchen. A moment later, bright purple goop started oozing out of the phone at an alarming rate, making a gross pile on the floor.]
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The phone having that cord was deceptive. Like everything else in this shop, apparently, having more layers than just its normal appearance. And Dazai had chosen to get involved in this strangeness by agreeing to be an exorcist.
Now, he wondered, was he Alice falling down a rabbit hole? Or, considering that Watanuki was a witch, was he Dorothy? Cinderella with a fairy godmother? Never mind, none of those comparisons worked.
Then Watanuki held out the phone, and goop dripped out.
Dazai shifted on the wall, a smile affixed on his face in automatic defense, and he managed to bite back another smartass comment in time. Considering Watanuki had invited whatever this was over, it wouldn't do to carelessly offend the being until Dazai saw their temperament.]
Is this how your, ah, more interesting guests usually travel, Watanuki-san?
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It is when they need to get somewhere quickly.
[He continued to hold out the phone as the goop sloshed out, the last few drips slipping down to join the rest. Then, with a bit of force, a black tool bag and a hat popped out of the phone.
All of a sudden, the goop snapped to attention. It bounced into the air, forming one big purple ball, before four limbs and a tail poked out. Next was the head, which had large triangular ears on it. This vaguely cat-shaped being, who was also nearly three feet tall, grabbed it's hat and bag out of the air just prior to landing on the ground.
Watanuki hung up the phone then, and he began the introductions. He acted as if all of this was completely normal, which it probably was for him. ]
Smithy, this is Dazai-kun. Dazai-kun, this is the Smithy who will modify your weapons.
[Say hi, Dazai. ]
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That was adorable. In the "I either just stepped in a children's picturebook or an acid trip" sense. Maybe whoever won the book could be this whimsical and make this the new normal.
Dazai knelt down, well-practiced at looking unfazed in most social situations when he needed to be, and extended his hand.]
Hello. Me and my friend's guns will be in your care.
If you don't mind me asking: is Smithy a title, or your name?
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It's a title! Much safer this way, you don't want to go around giving out your real name to Witches.
Or other supernatural beings.
[The last sentence was added with a bit of annoyance from Watanuki. He didn't like being called out like that, so rude.]
Dazai-kun, could you show him your weapons?
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Not that he'd take this against Watanuki - it was the sort of precautionary measure Dazai would've employed if he needed to, although the Smithy likely had more knowledge of the full consequences.]
I'll keep that in mind.
[So began his brainstorming for the most horrendous and ridiculously fake name known to mankind.
At Watanuki's request, he took the metal case out of the knapsack and entered the combination code before presenting its contents. Here, two perfectly maintained handguns, nestled in foam.
Dazai couldn't help but give a look to his side, before raising an eyebrow. Did Oda stick around for this, when he disapproved of something yesterday?]
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Smithy had to climb up onto the counter to look at the contents of the case properly, a move that clearly irritated Watanuki if the twitch of his eyebrow was anything to go by. But he said nothing as the large purple cat closely inspected the guns, leaning in to peer at them. Eventually he held a hand over them, and while Dazai probably wouldn't feel any shift in the room, the action seemed significant.]
Hmm...Well cared for, well treated, good. These guns are at least agreeable towards you, Dazai-kun. Though you're the original owner, yes?
[That was spoken to a far corner of the kitchen, and was a sure sign that Oda was still around. And after a short pause, during which the cat seemed to be listening, he finally nodded.]
Well if you're giving them up willingly and they're alright with going, then I can work with this. But you, Dazai-kun-
[And now he was looking to Dazai.]
Your soul is heavy. Too heavy to be used as collateral for my services. So how're you paying for this?
[Dazai didn't have to actually pay for the service, as Watanuki intended on paying for it. But he did have a moment to react to those revelations before Watanuki spoke up and offered to pay the price.]
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Also, he caught that eyebrow twitch. The shop looked nice and squeaky clean all the time, Watanuki; surely a dresser could take a few paw prints?
Smithy's assessment that the guns were in good condition and agreeable pleased Dazai, as did the news that Oda seemed okay with the transfer. That his soul was heavy was far from surprising when Dazai very well knew how his own actions (or inaction in some cases) had strongly affected certain events and people.
Being asked for a price, though? His soul as collateral?
A chill lanced through his chest. That was unexpected, and an interesting sign that Dazai probably had trusted Watanuki before he realized it if he hadn't fished out more information on today's events.
Ahh. He wondered if he was losing his touch.
Dazai had one question, if he managed to get it out before Watanuki:] If I may ask first before any proposals - does asking for my soul specifically have to do with the formation of a tsukumogami?
[It was a guess. Possibly a soul for a soul kind of deal, when tsukumogami supposedly took decades, if not centuries, to develop on their own.
This was also possibly a bid for time, while he worked out a proper response to that challenge]
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[It was then that Watanuki finally cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.]
I will be the one paying the fee, if you will.
Izzat so? In that case, make me some of that catnip tea and seaweed biscuits you're so good at. That should take you about as long as this will.
[Then, with a chuckle, he moved to collect up the guns.]
You're a lucky one, you know. Most Witches wouldn't pay such a steep price for someone like you. I guess he sees something in you I don't.
[The cat's tone was a friendly one, like he wasn't trying to be offensive on purpose. However, his words were still a bit on the callous side, and they just provided more questions for Watanuki to answer later.
Speaking of Watanuki, once Smithy moved to the study to work on the guns, he started pulling out ingredients to cook up the price that had been named. Dazai was free to watch him cook or to go watch the guns as they were worked on.]
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[Two things were becoming apparent to Dazai: one, this particular supernatural creature had the same kind of bluntness he appreciated Odasaku having, free of any hidden intent most people tended to have.
Second: Watanuki had hid this aspect from him.
Given both, he couldn't have stayed to watch the Smithy, as he ordinarily would've done. Instead, he followed Watanuki to the kitchen, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms as he watched. After a while, Dazai spoke.]
The initial collateral seems more costly than whatever clean-up you might send me to.
[A seemingly neutral statement to point out the perceived imbalance.
What, precisely, were the stakes, Shopkeeper? Moreover, why offer this to someone like him?]
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[2/2] also: dem yu yu hakusho rules. I like it
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