[His first instinct is to say that he's fine, everything is fine, there's nothing to worry about. But she knows magic, doesn't she? She'll be able to see through that lie right away.
So instead, he just smiles tiredly, and offers a vague but possibly insightful answer.]
My magic doesn't usually take a lot of energy to use, but I've been using it constantly for weeks now. It's just taxing, that's all. I know my limits, and I'll stop before I reach them.
What if your plans go south, then? What if you need to do something else, and you don't have the energy left to do it and live?
[ Shirou was already burning himself to smoking embers in that cave. What would have happened if he kept pushing himself? If Illya wasn't tagging along? If Rider hadn't been able to get back up?
She doesn't even want to think about that.
Sakura looks him dead in the eyes, expression stony. She doesn't understand the metaphor, no, but 40 out of 100 is less than half. Even if they only have one more week of killing left, it's not a lot. ]
[He just. Sighs. Because he does understand her fears, he has many of the same ones. But at the same time, his limits aren't quite the same anymore. And he doesn't think she'll understand what he's saying until she understands the concept of a 'Witch'.]
I know magic has 'types' in your world, so think of it like this: before I got these witch powers, my magic type was 'dreams' and 'future sight'. So when I over-exert myself, I fall asleep.
I'm not going anywhere. I might get tired, but I'm not just going to suddenly drop dead. If I run low on energy, I'll fall asleep, and in my sleep I'll be able to preserve my existence just fine.
[ Judging by the look on her face, she doesn't 100% buy it, but okay. She'll drop it, since he doesn't seem to be budging. Maybe it's something she honestly just can't fundamentally understand, like she told Ann. ]
...alright. Just--please be careful with yourself.
[ She takes a few steps forward, so they're not talking across the room. ]
Um, so...there's something else.
It's--it's strange, I like to think I'm pretty resilient. There's a lot of things I've gone through that should have killed me, and here I am...but just in case my luck runs out this week, I want to be honest with you, ahaha.
[ Her hands shake a little. If she gets rejected...it'll hurt, but it'll fine. It'll be fine. ]
Talking with you...makes me happy, and when I started having dinner with you, I was hoping my cooking would impress you, so I started making it as good as I could, and--you're really kind, and the face you make when you get flustered is really cute, and--
I don't age. Eventually it would reach a point where people would ask you if I'm your son. And then, eventually, grandson. I can't stay in any one world, I have to be where the shop is. I'm not even human anymore, I'm more of a 'concept' than a person at this point. We're so far apart from each other, and...well...most people can't handle being with someone like that, and I wouldn't hold it against you if you can't either.
[He's not saying 'no', but. It's a very serious thing. And he's not sure if she could handle it.]
[ And then she has this weird expression on her face that's stuck between relief and confusion, because this is exactly why she expected to get rejected--and he's still saying it but it's not with a rejection. ]
I was thinking...you might say something like that. And that's what I kept thinking, 'because I'm a human, nothing's going to happen.'
[ ..... ]
I don't care. I love the friends I made with the people here, but--if it comes down to that, I'd rather stay with you than go back with them. And it's--it's not just because I like you. It's because I don't want you to feel lonely, either. Even if I only have another 60 years in me, it's more than I had a few months ago, and I'd rather give them to you.
It's not exactly the same thing, but listen--Rider's a Servant, she's a person who lived thousands of years ago on a different continent turned into a monster. But I still love her. Even if she'll outlive me and I'll just be a fraction of a second in her memory, which will go on for eternity when she goes back to the Throne of Heroes. I still love her. And I feel the same about you.
[He wants to be cool and keep a calm voice and have this conversation like a wise, experienced person would. He's 118, and this isn't the first time he's had this talk with someone. But the way she's so open about it, and how she's willing to give her his everything, it...]
aaaaAAAAA you can't just say stuff like that!
[It makes him blush furiously and get so, so flustered.]
You can't just give up all of your time so freely like that! It's not an even trade! Y-you should at least be asking for the same amount of time from me in return!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
There's a million ways she could start off this conversation, but she can't think of a particularly good one, so. ]
...I want you to be honest with me, please. I was...sick from an ailment caused by magic, before, so I'm wondering--are you feeling alright?
no subject
So instead, he just smiles tiredly, and offers a vague but possibly insightful answer.]
My magic doesn't usually take a lot of energy to use, but I've been using it constantly for weeks now. It's just taxing, that's all. I know my limits, and I'll stop before I reach them.
no subject
Will you? Or will you keep doing this and burn yourself out?
[ oh boy this sounds a lot like tHE LAST PERSON SHE HAD A THING FOR
DOING THE SAME THING
STOP PROJECTING LEGENDARY WEAPONS, WATANUKI ]
no subject
[Of course, that doesn't address the problem of what to do if something more important than 'meet Yuuko again' needs him to overextend himself.]
And I'm keeping my energy-use to a minimum. It's like 40% left right now, ok?
[As if Sakura would understand cell phone battery charge metaphors.]
no subject
[ Shirou was already burning himself to smoking embers in that cave. What would have happened if he kept pushing himself? If Illya wasn't tagging along? If Rider hadn't been able to get back up?
She doesn't even want to think about that.
Sakura looks him dead in the eyes, expression stony. She doesn't understand the metaphor, no, but 40 out of 100 is less than half. Even if they only have one more week of killing left, it's not a lot. ]
I don't...want to lose you.
no subject
[He just. Sighs. Because he does understand her fears, he has many of the same ones. But at the same time, his limits aren't quite the same anymore. And he doesn't think she'll understand what he's saying until she understands the concept of a 'Witch'.]
I know magic has 'types' in your world, so think of it like this: before I got these witch powers, my magic type was 'dreams' and 'future sight'. So when I over-exert myself, I fall asleep.
I'm not going anywhere. I might get tired, but I'm not just going to suddenly drop dead. If I run low on energy, I'll fall asleep, and in my sleep I'll be able to preserve my existence just fine.
1/2
...alright. Just--please be careful with yourself.
2/2
Um, so...there's something else.
It's--it's strange, I like to think I'm pretty resilient. There's a lot of things I've gone through that should have killed me, and here I am...but just in case my luck runs out this week, I want to be honest with you, ahaha.
no subject
[He doesn't have much time to dwell on it, though, because that last part sure is a thing.]
I'm...a bit concerned with that lead-in, but what did you want to be honest about?
1/2 again hhhhhh
[ ...... ]
no subject
[ Her hands shake a little. If she gets rejected...it'll hurt, but it'll fine. It'll be fine. ]
Talking with you...makes me happy, and when I started having dinner with you, I was hoping my cooking would impress you, so I started making it as good as I could, and--you're really kind, and the face you make when you get flustered is really cute, and--
[ .... ]
...I really, really like you.
1/???
It looks like Syaoran was right after all. Not that he'd ever tell him that.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
...
done
I don't age. Eventually it would reach a point where people would ask you if I'm your son. And then, eventually, grandson. I can't stay in any one world, I have to be where the shop is. I'm not even human anymore, I'm more of a 'concept' than a person at this point. We're so far apart from each other, and...well...most people can't handle being with someone like that, and I wouldn't hold it against you if you can't either.
[He's not saying 'no', but. It's a very serious thing. And he's not sure if she could handle it.]
1/3
and waiting
and waiting
and then....it doesn't come?
Huh? ]
2/3
Ah....?
3/3
[ ..... ]
I don't care. I love the friends I made with the people here, but--if it comes down to that, I'd rather stay with you than go back with them. And it's--it's not just because I like you. It's because I don't want you to feel lonely, either. Even if I only have another 60 years in me, it's more than I had a few months ago, and I'd rather give them to you.
It's not exactly the same thing, but listen--Rider's a Servant, she's a person who lived thousands of years ago on a different continent turned into a monster. But I still love her. Even if she'll outlive me and I'll just be a fraction of a second in her memory, which will go on for eternity when she goes back to the Throne of Heroes. I still love her. And I feel the same about you.
no subject
aaaaAAAAA you can't just say stuff like that!
[It makes him blush furiously and get so, so flustered.]
no subject
Wh-What? What did I say?
[ DID IT COME OUT AS LESS HEARTFELT THAN SHE THOUGHT IT DID??? ]
no subject
[Why is this happening
Why are they such losers]
no subject
Sakura smiles ]
Can I? I didn't think I was in a position to be asking that, since you're pretty busy, but alright.
What are you doing, for the next 60 years?
[ THIS IS NOT HOW YOU ASK SOMEONE OUT OH MY GOD BOTH OF YOU ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)