From the sounds of it, he was already planning on killing someone.
...I'm not here to harp on you and make you feel bad, Ann-san. But I wanted you to understand. It's not a rational line of thought, I know that. You aren't responsible for his actions. But I'm still Human enough to feel that.
...no, it's not about 'Human' or 'Witch'. I'm hurting because he died, and my heart wants to take it out on others, even though my mind knows I shouldn't.
Honestly? At this point I don't think 'Witch' or 'Human' make a difference. They're just titles. I'm still 'me' regardless.
[Someone sure did talk to him and convince him of that point.]
It's really easy to blame all of my bad habits on 'that's the Witch side taking over', but it's really not the truth. I had those habits even when I was 100% human. I've always been irritable. I've always been passive-aggressive. I've always been pessimistic. I've always jumped to conclusions. It just didn't make as big of a change in me before because I never had the power to do anything about it before.
I suppose I have everyone here to thank for that. It...might sound silly, but I haven't felt like this in ages. Not since...Doumeki died, probably.
[Saying that name is still painful. First love and all.]
The high moments, the low, good, bad, it's all something. Something I've been missing for a few decades now.
[Which is why, even if he's mad right now, a small smile can still creep out. He's actually feeling something, and that's amazing.]
And I only had to deal with that for 40 years tops. How many centuries has Nirrti been experiencing it? I think reminding her of her feelings is what we need to do, along with finding her name.
Can I share one more thing? She probably needs it too but, when I think of Akira and Syaoran, I just realize... Trust is hard. Trust means being willing to admit the dark parts of ourselves to the people most important to us.
But that sort of trust hurts the most when it's broken. Perhaps that's what Nirrti is feeling.
No, it's alright, it makes sense. She's been betrayed, and she needs to see that people won't abandon her like that.
...I feel like I might have to be 'that friend' to start with. Since she doesn't hate me. But I need all of you to back me up, since I would be just the first step.
I didn't mean to start a fight between you and Syaoran... But I'm not going to give up. I want him to have the chance to apologize... to you, and-- well, Koide-kun probably wouldn't accept it, but...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...I'm not here to harp on you and make you feel bad, Ann-san. But I wanted you to understand. It's not a rational line of thought, I know that. You aren't responsible for his actions. But I'm still Human enough to feel that.
...no, it's not about 'Human' or 'Witch'. I'm hurting because he died, and my heart wants to take it out on others, even though my mind knows I shouldn't.
no subject
Watanuki-kun.
[a pause.]
Kimihiro-kun. After everything today, you still don't believe a witch can't feel like a human, do you?
Or maybe... The better way to say it is, even though the paths are different for a Witch and a Human, the end result can end up the same?
no subject
[Someone sure did talk to him and convince him of that point.]
It's really easy to blame all of my bad habits on 'that's the Witch side taking over', but it's really not the truth. I had those habits even when I was 100% human. I've always been irritable. I've always been passive-aggressive. I've always been pessimistic. I've always jumped to conclusions. It just didn't make as big of a change in me before because I never had the power to do anything about it before.
no subject
I was so happy that you found your "third way," despite everything. That's why I wanted to talk to you. Because I felt hope.
Especially after realizing that even Nirrti had trouble denying it.
no subject
[Saying that name is still painful. First love and all.]
The high moments, the low, good, bad, it's all something. Something I've been missing for a few decades now.
[Which is why, even if he's mad right now, a small smile can still creep out. He's actually feeling something, and that's amazing.]
And I only had to deal with that for 40 years tops. How many centuries has Nirrti been experiencing it? I think reminding her of her feelings is what we need to do, along with finding her name.
no subject
Mmhm.
Can I share one more thing? She probably needs it too but, when I think of Akira and Syaoran, I just realize... Trust is hard. Trust means being willing to admit the dark parts of ourselves to the people most important to us.
But that sort of trust hurts the most when it's broken. Perhaps that's what Nirrti is feeling.
no subject
THAT IS GETTING A FROWN FROM WATANUKI]
Believe me, I'm well-aware of just how much a broken trust hurts.
no subject
I'm sorry. It's just... something I thought about a lot this week.
[and especially in the wake of the last memory]
no subject
...I feel like I might have to be 'that friend' to start with. Since she doesn't hate me. But I need all of you to back me up, since I would be just the first step.
no subject
Hey... Do you think... [she pauses and weighs this question carefully]
There's really a third option, for everyone? For you, Nirrti, us... All of the people we've lost?
no subject
no subject
I didn't mean to start a fight between you and Syaoran... But I'm not going to give up. I want him to have the chance to apologize... to you, and-- well, Koide-kun probably wouldn't accept it, but...
no subject
They will have the chance to try, at least. The future isn't set in stone.
no subject
Anyway... thank you.
I'll see you later...?
no subject
...keep trying to talk with her, will you? You'll get through eventually.
no subject
I'll try.