Week 4 - HEARTS

[foundfate]

[In the evening on Monday, Watanuki will send a letter (by magic, not bird, since the cockatiels are still healing) inviting Ann to his room. By the time she's arrived, she will find that he has set up a little table with two chairs at it. Space for them to work at, basically. There is also tea set up, so that they can have a bit before beginning this.]

Thank you for coming, Ann-san. I apologize for the rush, but I feel like this is urgent and should be addressed right away.

Comments

[fullbodied]

["The difference will only grow."

"I've only managed it for a few years."

Ann pauses, trying to recalibrate her memories, all the things they've discussed. This feels-- a little like a distant memory.]

Even if humans only age and die... You don't think you'll be able to connect with them? That they're really all that similar?

[foundfate]

[When Ann says that, both Watanuki and the woman look up to her. The woman looks a touch disgruntled, like Ann is intruding on something Very Private and she doesn't like it.

Watanuki, meanwhile, regards Ann with a faint sense of interest. And after regarding her for a moment, he smiles what appears to be a tired smile.]

How many of your schoolmates from elementary school do you remember, Ann-san? Outside of your personal friends, I mean.

[fullbodied]

Not many, but that's evading what I asked.

[she's firm]

Asking how many people I remember, who I didn't connect with, versus the people I did?

[foundfate]

It is evading nothing, Ann-san. As people grow older, those that they do not connect to fade to the background and become mere shadows of a memory. It is neither good, not bad, but rather a fact of life. A fact that becomes more pronounced the older you get.

I connect with the people I remember, and I remember the people I connect with. But I helps everyone, regardless of if I remember them or not.

[fullbodied]

But does that really mean the distance will grow? That you'll become less like us?

[foundfate]

...

[Watanuki glances to the woman at his side, who sits there pouting slightly. Then he looks back to Ann, and he looks a bit lost.]

Are those the only two choices? Become more of a Witch, or remain a Human?

[fullbodied]

... I'll help most people that ask me for help, even if I forget their face the next day. Being forgotten isn't the worst thing that could happen to anyone, especially for superficial connections like that. But I'll hold my friends close, because they're what anchors me.

[a pause]

All of this to say... There's always a third option, if you want to take it, Kimihiro-kun. You just have to find it. Neither of these things has to conflict with each other.

[foundfate]

...a third option...

[There is a long stretch of silence, and Watanuki looks down at his glass as he contemplates this point. Everything else about the room- the setting, the woman, and even the house itself- melt away to nothing. It leaves Ann and Watanuki is a sea of black nothingness.

Then, a flickering flame appears. It contains both blue and orange, though it appears to be about 70% orange currently. Watanuki does not seem to notice the flame, but Ann will be able to see it clear as day.]

...I don't want to forget 'it'.

[The flame gains a bit more more blue.]

But...it's hard. It's hard to live like this, standing right at that door without going in.

[The flame becomes slightly more orange again, canceling out the change from before.]

It's hard. Living like this is hard, and nobody understands.

[But Ann might have the chance to. Because suddenly both Watanuki and the fire disappear, and she is back in that hall, facing one final door, one covered in strips of tape that say "WARNING: DO NOT OPEN". Merely being near this door will make her feel anxious. Something is on the other side of that door, something Watanuki doesn't want others to see. ]

[fullbodied]

[oh. oh no, this is not a pleasant feeling.

But she's going to approach the door. She's going to force herself to reach out to it, stating,]

You asked me to come here. I'm going to find out what's wrong. I'm not going to hurt you.

[a normal Palace wouldn't need that, but Ann knows this isn't normal.

She's got Hecate encouraging her, and easy access to the paper he gave her.

She pushes the door open.]

[foundfate]

[As she opens that door, she will see darkness. Utter, unending darkness. It is a deep, lonely void, and whispers of despair and regret can be heard coming out of it. As much as being near the closed door was troubling, this one feels oppressive. Ann will get the distinct feeling that she should not be there, that she is staring into an abyss that she might not be able to handle.

And then dozens of long, ghostly hands reach out to grab her and try to drag her right into that room.]

[fullbodied]

Wh... What is this?

[Ann may be reckless, but even she has her limits, and she steps back, trying to slam the door shut before anything else can escape?!]

Is that the problem?!

[foundfate]

[Yes, Ann. That's the problem. And before she can shut the door, one of the hands will brush against hers, giving her a small touch of the pain contained in those doors.

She will see a glimpse of the first day where everyone arrives, where they were talking with each other and trying to figure out what was going on. But as she looks around, she will be able to see herself in the crowd, indicating that it's not her eyes that she's seeing through. If she's paying attention, or just uses deductive reasoning, she'll be able to figure out it's Watanuki.

But as she looks around, the gap between everyone else and her seems to widen. The world starts to go grey, showing how disjointed and distant it feels. That feeling of 'being alone despite being in a crowded room' starts to leak in, growing stronger as everyone pulls further away.

Each second drags on for an eternity. The raw, open wound of sheer loneliness grows larger, threatening to swallow her up. She will perceive entire days in that state, with her very heart screaming out for someone, anyone to notice her. For just one, single person to care about her pain, and to help her.

And then her gaze will be drawn to a bright spot of orange in the field of greys. A bright spot wearing a long dress, long black hair, and a dangerous smile.

One that holds out a hand, beckoning to her, as if to say 'it's alright. I understand.'

She raises a hand, and she will find that her arm (and her whole body, if she looks) is a familiar shade of blue, with a small bit of orange flickering in arcs across the sea of color. But as she reaches out to that Witch, her hand changes from blue to orange, with the orange starting to run up her arm.

And then she gets the door shut, and the vision abruptly cuts off. She's still in Watanuki's mind, and only a few seconds have passed for real, but her perception of time has been toyed with.]

[fullbodied]

[is that figure... is that Nirrti? Or Yuuko?

But Ann panics. They haven't been taking the effects of this game seriously, not at all. Were they all pulling away? Were they too focused on... winning?

Was that the entire point...?]

Kimihiro-kun...

[she stares at the door again, and rests her hand against the door.

She pulls out the piece of paper, having it on hand immediately. She needs to see this through. She opens the door, one more time, prepared to rip the paper at a moment's notice]

[foundfate]

[This time, the hands don't shoot out to drag her in. Instead, one reaches out and offers itself, palm-up, to her. Inviting her to join instead of trying to drag her in.]

[fullbodied]

[Ann inhales.... and then takes that hand.]

[foundfate]

[And in she goes.

This time, it feels like countless years pass. Little scenes come and go quickly- a shot of watching friends walk away from the shop for good, another of a friend turning old and grey and then disappearing entirely, an empty front yard with no guests, quiet halls to the shop with no laughter or mirth to fill it- but they all leave Ann feeling absolutely, completely lonely. It's so strong here in this room that it feels like she might get crushed under the weight.

But if she can persist, she'll eventually be able to find a small, glowing orb in the darkness.]

[fullbodied]

[she's going to-- because she promised Watanuki that she'd help. Even if this is going to mess her up for days after, he's been dealing with it for ages.]

[foundfate]

[As soon as she touches it, she will be able to see blues and oranges swirling around in it. In the blues, there are quick flashes of happier days: Of Watanuki celebrating his birthday with his friends, smiling warmly as everyone congratulates him. Of Watanuki sitting on his porch, smoking his pipe and chatting with someone. Of Watanuki at school, eating his lunch with some friends. Of helping someone, and seeing them say 'thank you' afterwards. Little happy moments like that, where Watanuki doesn't feel so alone.

And then, in the orange, are similarly happy scenes, though the happiness comes from other sources. Watanuki and Nirrti, butting heads over the game, but ultimately finding a sense of agreement in 'wow, I can't believe Karen contracted a servant, this is going to make things interesting.' Of Watanuki being pestered by a blonde witch in a pink dress, one who is clearly annoying him, but is doing so in a way that makes her fondness for him clear. Of Watanuki talking with Anon about morality and righteousness, with both agreeing that 'might makes right' isn't a bad way to see things. They're a bit stranger and less straightforward than the blue memories, but there is still a sense of happiness to them.

But the two colors are in conflict with each other, and that conflict is what's making the surface of the orb stormy. A solution to this problem might be what's needed.]

[fullbodied]

You do need a third way.

[anon. anon.

watanuki why are you taking any lesson from anon, much less that one.

Also... can she lift up the orb?]

But those two opposing ideas of happiness... No wonder the loneliness is so strong. Especially if you think you have to choose.

[foundfate]

[She can, but she will also find that the glow from it chases away the shadows. And as the room is illuminated, she will eventually be able to see a door.

It looks like the doors in the mansion, and is probably the way out. She's found his treasure, as obtuse as it may be, so what is she going to do with it?]

[fullbodied]

[she's going to steal it!! Because this treasure's being corrupted, obviously. And it needs to be protected from the loneliness. :(

What that means, when she gets outside... well, she'll find out!!]

[foundfate]

[I mean.

She's going to find Watanuki face-down in his tea, snoring softly.

Yep he's still hella knocked out. But at least his sleep seems peaceful?]

[fullbodied]

[is it still the orb that it was? because if so, she's going to set it down gently, so it doesn't roll away.

if it isn't, she's still setting it down

and then put a blanket over him.]

I'm sorry, Kimihiro-kun.

[foundfate]

[It's a lot smaller now, about the size of a marble. But yes, she still has it.

And Watanuki shifts a little in his sleep, but doesn't stir yet.]

[fullbodied]

[and so she looks at the marble, and then holds it close. She's got to keep this one. but she does put the paper back on the desk.]

Kimihiro-kun?

[said after another few minutes.]