Oh that is painful to hear. Especially that last part.]
Is that truly what you think of yourself? That you are wicked, with no redeeming qualities?
[He is torn. She is cruel, violent, and dangerous. She hurts people without a second thought. She hurts people, over and over again, and she takes delight in their pain.
And yet...Watanuki's heart aches for her. It aches, knowing that she has become this.
What would she have been, if she hadn't been sent down this path?]
...Of course. I'm not pretending when I laugh in the trials, after all.
I feel...only the purest joy when I see the pieces suffer.
[Indeed, there's that cruel light in her eyes as she speaks, though it's clear she's trying to suppress it in order to speak to someone she considers her equal.]
How could a being who lives only to bring pain to others not be the most disgusting thing in the world? Whenever they call me cruel, horrible...whenever they spit my name out with such hate, I am happy.
...Because then, I am being seen. To them, I exist.
So....What kind of creature am I, to love to hurt and be hurt in return?
...Only someone completely awful and twisted could ever enjoy living like that, and not try to destroy themselves.
So, that is what I am. I am....The most disgusting, evil thing.
[In contrast to Nirrti's fondness, Watanuki's response rings a bit hollow. He doesn't really feel happy for what she has told him, even though he gets the sense that he should. Stupid dumb broken emotions.]
...
It gets easier eventually, right? Being a witch, I mean.
I suppose outlook does have a lot to do with it. I don't think I can embrace other's pain the way you do.
[There isn't any venom to it, though. He's saying it as if it is just a part of Nirrti, not as if it's something to be detested. A character trait, rather than a flaw.]
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...Ha. Most likely not. I probably never would have come across your fragment, anyway.
....The only places I have been have been my territory, and the City of Books. I never had any desire to become a Voyager Witch and travel your Sea.
[She laughs, though it's in a self-reproachful way.]
I was too afraid of having my 'self' sink into the Sea, like I nearly did when I first made my way into this world.
...So, I suppose....if I had never stolen her face, we would have never met.
[She's quiet, for a moment, before continuing on.]
...I...have nothing. Nothing but whoever 'this' is...and my power, the only thing that truly gives me joy.
I am an evil, wicked, disgusting creature. I am a Witch, and I can never be forgiven for being that.
...I know other Witches do not think this way. But for me...
...It is the only thing keeping me whole.
So it is...what I show the pieces.
To keep from fading away entirely.
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Oh that is painful to hear. Especially that last part.]
Is that truly what you think of yourself? That you are wicked, with no redeeming qualities?
[He is torn. She is cruel, violent, and dangerous. She hurts people without a second thought. She hurts people, over and over again, and she takes delight in their pain.
And yet...Watanuki's heart aches for her. It aches, knowing that she has become this.
What would she have been, if she hadn't been sent down this path?]
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I feel...only the purest joy when I see the pieces suffer.
[Indeed, there's that cruel light in her eyes as she speaks, though it's clear she's trying to suppress it in order to speak to someone she considers her equal.]
How could a being who lives only to bring pain to others not be the most disgusting thing in the world? Whenever they call me cruel, horrible...whenever they spit my name out with such hate, I am happy.
...Because then, I am being seen. To them, I exist.
So....What kind of creature am I, to love to hurt and be hurt in return?
...Only someone completely awful and twisted could ever enjoy living like that, and not try to destroy themselves.
So, that is what I am. I am....The most disgusting, evil thing.
I am a Witch.
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['this' being the fact that they are having a conversation, and not at each other's throats.]
Isn't it better to be seen in a way that isn't just hate?
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[She smiles, sadly.]
Then who would I be? I have no memories of anything else, beyond vague feelings.
All I have...is that. ...And nothing else.
[There's a pause....and then she stands.]
...Thank you, Kimihiro. But - I think I would like to rest, now.
....Though I don't feel pain anymore....I am...certainly a little tired, now.
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[It's easy to see she means it - and a lot of her attitude towards him in public is performative.
Playing up to the horrible creature she believes herself to be, as a way of shoring up her own existence.]
...Thank you, Kimihiro. Ah - I probably shouldn't be using your real name, should I?
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[In contrast to Nirrti's fondness, Watanuki's response rings a bit hollow. He doesn't really feel happy for what she has told him, even though he gets the sense that he should. Stupid dumb broken emotions.]
...
It gets easier eventually, right? Being a witch, I mean.
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[She pauses, thinking.
Thinking of the papers in her mind, of the amount of time she's spent theorizing about who is next going to take up the wish.
And if she's correct...
...Then the next week will be a week of utter agony if the truth comes out.]
...I don't know.
I'm not that much older than you, and we have very different outlooks.
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[There isn't any venom to it, though. He's saying it as if it is just a part of Nirrti, not as if it's something to be detested. A character trait, rather than a flaw.]
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[There's a silence, at that.]
That's a very charitable way to put it, Watanuki.
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