private psl
["I want to be free of the ghosts to see. That is my wish: to not be burdened by them anymore."
"Unfortunately, I cannot grant that wish. But I can send you to someone who can grant it."
That answer gave Watanuki jack-all to go off of, though, and he was left standing in a field of pink flowers looking absolutely befuddled. How had he gotten there? Where was he in the first place? The flowers seemed to go on forever, and all that was around besides them was a floating tower in the sky.
Well, that seemed like Watanuki's best chance at getting an answer, so he tried to step in that direction, but found that his legs were tangled up in the flowers. He fount this out by tripping, somehow, and ending up face-first in the flowers with a yelp.]
What- why are they-
[Oh, to be tangled up in the Garden of Avalon. His sins weighed him down, and he didn't even know it.]
"Unfortunately, I cannot grant that wish. But I can send you to someone who can grant it."
That answer gave Watanuki jack-all to go off of, though, and he was left standing in a field of pink flowers looking absolutely befuddled. How had he gotten there? Where was he in the first place? The flowers seemed to go on forever, and all that was around besides them was a floating tower in the sky.
Well, that seemed like Watanuki's best chance at getting an answer, so he tried to step in that direction, but found that his legs were tangled up in the flowers. He fount this out by tripping, somehow, and ending up face-first in the flowers with a yelp.]
What- why are they-
[Oh, to be tangled up in the Garden of Avalon. His sins weighed him down, and he didn't even know it.]
no subject
But the chair was appreciated, as was the support. The drain on his energy seemed to come from the same source as Yuuko's magic, though the full reason for it was still obscured. It would take some magical study, as well as a conversation with Yuuko, to get the full story.]
That must be it. I've never really done anything magic before, besides seeing ghosts.
[That story was pretty fantastical, and Watanuki could already imagine an older man lecturing a young girl for using such a powerful magic. It made him chuckle a bit, which was also a good sign that he was starting to recover.]
She must have been pretty strong, if she pulled that off.
no subject
That she was. [Thanks to Merlin meddling with the circumstances of her birth, though no one but Uther needed to know that.] Not that anyone would've suspected it at first, when she was younger. Even if she was eager to learn, she still got easily tricked during spars. After training, there were times I found her sleeping in the stables, on a haystack in the stall next to her favorite horse.
Even after she drew the Sword of Selection and started winning wars, not everyone was convinced she was the king they needed. Goes to show you how might and magic aren't everything.
no subject
[People could be ignorant, man.
But still, he had to respect that dedication and hard work.]
Moreover, how did she even deal with people like that? I don't think I could handle people that rude.
[He already deals with rude people by avoiding them and being a shut-in.]
no subject
In fact, she focused on turning herself into the perfect king, and several magic artefacts that came into her possession aided her in attaining that state. A king who was just, merciful and not easily angered, even to those who were rude to her. A king who purely acted on the interests of the kingdom, and never for herself.
She became someone who didn't understand the hearts of her people, and they, hers. Humans, of course, have a tendency to be uncomfortable with what or who they don't understand. Eventually, discontent began to spread amongst the ranks, culminating after many a year into the rebellion that was the Battle of Camlann.
[He'd warned her of this before she drew Camlann from the Stone, even showed her the fate that awaited her on that last battlefield. He still remembered how Artoria smiled as she accepted that outcome, believing that she could carry that burden for as long as she could save Britain.
Her grief atop that hill after slaying Mordred, before Bedivere found her, couldn't be more different.]
no subject
[Huh. That seemed like a contradiction. Being as impartial as possible maid for fair rulings, but then people saw you as not invested in the outcome. No wonder the end of the Round Table was a tale of tragedy.
Hmm. It was some food for thought, at least.]
Is that something I have to worry about? Getting too much attention as I get stronger and then getting constantly judged for what I do?
no subject
You also must remember that the idea of justice was harsher at the time, and that included the death penalty. Some individuals in court also thought she was being too lenient. It came to the point that certain executions conducted by a few individuals from her court were not reported to her - they believed they were also acting in the interests of the kingdom.
[Mordred before Morgana's second intervention, then Agravain. It's no accident that the Goddess Rhongomyniad from a certain Singularity, whose perspective was already different from a human's, had become that ruthless once he was summoned.]
As for yourself - you've already experienced being judged by others before coming here, have you not? [Just pointing that out.] While it's true that only getting stronger will risk drawing more attention to yourself, the opinion of others only becomes your immediate concern if they act to either take advantage of or harm you.
People will think what they will, Watanuki. So why let that affect you in doing as you wish?
no subject
But he didn't say that. Those worries were very personal, and he didn't want to open himself up to criticism from Merlin. So he went with another answer instead.]
Isn't the saying 'power corrupts'? I don't want to become someone who abuses power.
[And then he realized the implications of his words, and he was quick to correct himself.]
Not that your story tells me King Arthur was abusing power, but people must have thought something like that, right?
no subject
That would be the typical story, no? But not in Artoria's case. Like I said, everything she did was in service to Britain, and her conduct was so serious that she couldn't be accused of duplicity. She turned down proposals that gave her unfair advantage, much to her ministers' consternation, and often deflected every word of praise sent her way.
Really, that child could've gained something from being a little selfish. The same goes for you if you're asking that question: wanting your own happiness, especially if you attain that by using your own magic or other means at your disposal, isn't the same as abusing power. Those who understand will not think any less of you for it.
no subject
Nice words, and ones Watanuki wanted to believe. It was just hard to believe without anyone to back them up right now.
Still, he just sighed. Instead of getting upset, he just looked annoyed.]
You make it sound so simple, but I know it's not.
no subject
Can you guess what's the difference between a talented mage and an extraordinary one? Assuming that both have an equal amount of power at their disposal.
no subject
...effort? The more someone tries and works hard, the better they become at something. Talent doesn't matter if the person with the talent doesn't apply themselves.
[He suspected Merlin was trying to lecture him on that point, but that just made him irritated.]
no subject
[Case in point: Merlin had only gotten lazier after being a virtual shut-in for over a millennium, but even when he was able to walk in the world he favored certain tactics that'd help him get out of messes scot-free, finish the job quicker and go back to playing around.]
It's imagination. There are all sorts of limitations to certain spells, tools and what-have-you, but magic in itself is boundless. An exemplary mage with enough power will envision something spectacular and work through the circumstances they find themselves in, seeing opportunity in what others think of as barriers.
At the end of the day, magic is but a tool to accomplish one's ends, and there's no rule that says a powerful person must be a tyrant or an enemy to mankind.
So what's stopping you from choosing to be kind every time you use magecraft? If you really want to help others with magic, you're free to do so - and believe me, there are plenty of humans looking for all sorts of ways to get out of their personal problems that rise from genuine need or otherwise.
If you go down that route, however, you should take care to not end up like the hero Siegfried. From what I saw of him, he didn't really look happy towards the end.
no subject
Then again, magic was like that, wasn't it? Merlin was to teach him the recipes for magic, and he would add his own flavor to them. Maybe he could be kind, if he tried hard to use his magic for others and not wholly to benefit himself.
But then again, Merlin was making it sound like anything was possible, so long as Watanuki imagined it. Was it really that simple? Watanuki was a bit of a skeptic.
In the coming months and years, both men would quickly learn that Watanuki's main limitation was his own stubborn mind. Overcoming that was the key to unlocking Watanuki's magic potential. ]
You know that goes against my entire educational experience up to this point, right?
[Oh, Japanese schools. Rote memorization did not help with magic.]
...but alright. I'll try it. And I'll try not to get overwhelmed by it.
no subject
[Yep.
To also be fair, it wasn't just modern education that had rote memorization. That sort of thing was also necessary for the druids and shamans of old in passing down the oral tradition, although various storytellers included their personal flair when they narrated for an eager audience.
At Watanuki's acceptance, though - well, avoiding getting overwhelmed was part of it, sure, but was he really avoiding the why Siegfried was a cautionary tale for that kind of mentality? Or was that legend unfamiliar to Watanuki?
Well, they'd address any issues that occurred when they got to it. Merlin simply clapped once and tucked the paper with scribbles in his sleeve.]
That's a start.
Do you have other questions? If not, it might be good if you begin preparing your dinner. Training starts tomorrow.
no subject
No questions, I'll go make dinner.
[His head was still spinning from everything he had learned already, so it would take time for the questions to come to him. Just as it would take time for him to truly figure out what Merlin was like. 'Weird, but helpful' was his current assessment, but he had yet to see just how much of a garbage man Merlin was.
Dinner that night was a simple meal: a simple udon soup with some fried tofu and a few of those swirled fish cakes. He made up two bowls of it, though by the time he was done cooking and preparing the bowls he was left wondering what to do next. Would Merlin stop by for dinner, or did he need to bring the food to Merlin?]
no subject
Or now, perhaps. Because Merlin was still in the study, napping on the reclining sofa and checking in on Romani's progress. Really, it was rare for Merlin to take interest in individuals, and having a second person now in the form of Watanuki was, perhaps, a sign of the times - just how was that computed prediction going to come about?
So yeah, Watanuki might want to go looking for Merlin. Having someone else in Avalon who wasn't Cath Palug might take time getting used to.]
no subject
Then again, if Merlin was using his future sight to peek, Watanuki would assume Merlin was just sleeping and frown while waving a hand in front of his face. Then he will complain to himself.]
He tells me to cook, and then he goes to sleep?
no subject
So yeah - Merlin was using his clairvoyance at the moment. While he couldn't use it to see the future or the past, with the Singularities themselves being eventual exceptions given that history itself was unstable, it was very useful in getting real time updates.
Like now.
It was impossible to miss Watanuki's close proximity to his body in his dreamlike state. As if Watanuki's magic wasn't enough of a flag, the state of his existence added to that beacon, and Merlin withdrew from his trance to crack open an eye.
Returning to his body wasn't so different from waking up, and he shifted rather sluggishly.]
Hmm?
no subject
How did you fall asleep so fast? It didn't take me THAT long to cook.
[Present: bowl of udon!]
no subject
[So he said with a hand-covered yawn and a scratch to the back of his head. Merlin was about to mention something else, too, about the surprising similarities between getting bored during a horseback ride and staying up here in the tower for far too long, when the smell of food reached him.
His eyes widened.
As a cambion who'd taken on more incubus traits compared to the human side of his heritage, food wasn't necessary. When he partook, it was literally for the flavor and fun, and the taste wasn't as potent as eating an emotion or a dream.
But this dish? Merlin could sense the magic wafting off the bowl, and he absentmindedly reached out to his staff, conjuring a table and a second stool, before taking the bowl.]
Thank you.
Do you cook this for yourself often?
no subject
After taking a second to calm down from being spooked by suddenly appearing table and stool, Watanuki finally handed over Merlin's bowl before taking his own seat.]
I have a few I cook frequently, and this is one of them.
Do you make a habit of just summoning whatever it is you need at any given time?
no subject
[In more ways than one.
He was still examining the bowl, by the way, sniffing at it curiously before setting it down on the table.]
Then, did you use any special techniques?
[By the way, if Watanuki brought chopsticks, Merlin would take a pair and... hmm. This was one of those things he hadn't bothered paying close attention to before. Closed index and middle fingers, press the sticks there with his thumb - he's seen that much, but what happened next? He would've conjured a fork, of course, except he was a court mage, and knew that sort of thing was a faux pas, the casual setting aside.
Help?]
no subject
[Watanuki had indeed brought chopsticks, though as soon as he saw Merlin puzzling over them he realized his mistake. He set his bowl down, laying his chopsticks over the top of it.]
Ah, hold on, I'll get you a fork.
[Watanuki, immediately forgetting the conversation about summoning objects at a whim. But at least it showed his polite side?]
no subject
Thanks, but I have it.
[He held out his hand, and a fork formed from a few petals that materialized.]
You'll have to show me how to use those one of these days.
[Merlin twisted a few noodle strands on his fork. He only had the vaguest notion of what they tasted like, mostly culled from dreams, and he examined the food wrapped around his fork curiously before placing it in his mouth.
Watanuki might be able to tell the moment the flavors hit him - Merlin sat up straighter, eyes widening as he forgot himself.]
Oh. That's why spirits like you!
[The widest grin shone on his face as he chewed and swallowed. Heck, he even seemed to glow, iridescent hair and all.]
no subject
Merlin would definitely be learning how to use chopsticks eventually, too. Not everything Watanuki cooked paired well with a fork.
Seeing that reaction, though, it sparked a bit of curiosity in Watanuki. He had just assumed that Merlin was an insufferable know-it-all, so seeing such a genuine reaction was both unexpected and welcome. And that grin, it sparked something in Watanuki. Something that would pop up again in the future, but that just remained a moment of 'huh. that sure is something' for the time being. Watanuki was never the best at recognizing attachment, after all.
But Merlin's words did help Watanuki realize something, and Merlin would be able to see the proverbial lightbulb go off in Watanuki's mind before he let out an irritated complaint.]
You mean those offerings I made for some of them are why spirits keep showing up?!
[Yeah, uh. He would have been doomed anyway, he was leaking too much magic. But making offerings for some of the spirits to help them pass on certainly didn't help.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
skipping ahead slightly
o>
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
in which the teacher ends up being similar to his student /stares at Arturia
She rubbed off on him more than he realizes
y e p
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
this is why Roman says Merlin's Clairvoyance sucks
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
fantastic description. time to go drinking wata
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...