foundfate | private psl

Ask yourself that again in a few months.

[Watanuki might never have Gawain's muscle mass, but that didn't mean his arms would remain noodly after the exercise he was going to be put through.

By the way, the ladle thing was originally an off-hand comment, so he was surprised Watanuki even considered the practicality of taking it everywhere. Watanuki also ignoring the option of jewelry was of interest: Merlin began to suspect that Watanuki had a strong preference for working with his hands that went beyond cooking.]

A penknife might have more utility.

[A pen, by the way, is actually viable as a weapon, but a knife nut might give better tips for that.

The original purpose of a pen, however, did remind Merlin of something, and he rubbed his chin.]

Unless... [He blinked and abruptly stood.] Follow me.

[Back to the study! And once they were there, he'd grab sheaf of parchment from one of the shelves and a quill and inkpot from another. On it he inscribed one character from each set: fairy runes, the Elder Futhark, an alchemical symbol, Old Hebrew, Fulu, and the I-Ching. Next, he took the loose cloth from his staff, wrapped one end above the hilt of a dagger that served as a glorified all-purpose box cutter, and held out the grip to Watanuki.]

Might as well, if you want a writing implement as an option.

Point the tip to each character and think really hard about wanting the ink to light up. If it doesn't, move on to the next.

[Another affinity test. If none of these worked, that was fine. Either the set Watanuki was most compatible with wasn't amongst the four, or that glyphs weren't the best medium for him.

Of course, Merlin could only really use one of these systems. If Watanuki had an affinity for something that wasn't within Merlin's scope, he already had a lesson workaround in mind.]

[Most of those objects were unrecognizable to him, but he vaguely realized what they were when he saw the Fulu. Partially because of old, locked away memories from his father. 'The mind forgets but the body remembers' kind of deal. But with those memories locked away, he reasoned that the recognition came from another source: popular television and visiting shrines.]

Eh? Are these written charms?

[He did take the cloth-wrapped knife, though, and he held it in his right hand. This was smaller, and much easier for him to handle. So pointing it at each piece of paper was easy enough for him.

Interestingly, his vague familiarity is what drove him to test the Fulu first. And that thing lit up like a Christmas tree almost immediately, which made Watanuki jump back in surprise. He glanced between Merlin and the paper a few times, before finally speaking.]

You made it sound like I wouldn't be able to do it!

[Merlin shielded his eyes with his sleeve - that was unexpectedly fast - and whistled. When he showed his face again after the light faded, there was a wide grin on his face.]

Oho.

Why would I spoil the surprise for myself? And for your information, I can't actually use those characters. They aren't actually part of my legend or birthright, even if I know what they look like.

Are you, by any chance, descended from a practitioner of the Eastern magic arts? That was a pretty strong reaction for someone uninitiated.

Edited 2020-12-15 14:55 (UTC)

[Watanuki would have asked how Merlin could even write those characters if he didn't know the magic, but he suspected that it didn't matter. Not with that question that was posed shortly after.]

How would I know? My parents are dead, and I didn't exactly ask them before they died.

[That was the simplest explanation. How could he know? His parents had died when he was eight. And back then, he hadn't even told his parents he could see ghosts yet. He had barely understood what had been happening in the first place. And because of that, he...

He. Hmm.

Watanuki frowned as he puzzled over that thought. Had he talked to his parents about seeing ghosts? He tried thinking back, trying to recall if they ever had that conversation in his younger years.

As he thought of that, Merlin would feel a strong pulse of magic rather abruptly. It was magic placed on Watanuki, that had been there since before the boy had arrived in the garden. It was Yuuko's magic, Merlin would be able to recognize it as such, and the more Watanuki tried to think back the stronger the magic got. And it was giving Watanuki a headache, as evidenced by the way he flinched and reached up to cradle his forehead.]

We...didn't talk about magic ever, I don't think...?

For a moment, Merlin thought Yuuko would project her image into the room. That guess quickly dissolved when he noticed Watanuki clutching his head, and Merlin rubbed his thumb on the grip of his staff.

Watanuki's memories had been collateral for a wish, hmm? Perhaps for this trip, or for another wish he made just before being sent to Avalon. Whatever the case, he wasn't about to force the issue.]

That's fine.

If you're descended from a practitioner, it's not unheard of for such talents to be forgotten by several generations if that ancestor faced persecution or some other problem - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, given a particular figure from your country's history. If you're the first in your bloodline to have such a gift, that's also not a problem.

By the way, how similar are those characters to your current writing system?

[That explanation was enough to get Watanuki to stop prodding at his locked away memories, and he let out a shaky breath as he let go of them. The headache started to clear up as soon as he stopped thinking about his past, but he still felt a bit weak in the knees. In fact, he glanced around for a chair, because he really felt like he needed to sit down.]

I'm sorry, I don't know what happened there. I just- need a moment-

[If there wasn't a chair, Watanuki was absolutely going to lose his footing and slump down to the ground.

Merlin would get an answer in a moment, once Watanuki had recovered. But he needed a moment to regain his composure.]

[That bad?

Merlin stepped next to him in the next moment, wrapping an arm around Watanuki's shoulders to keep him steady, crumpling the paper in his hand in the process. With a tap of his staff on the ground, a chair materialized - here, sit down.]

Well, it's your first time handling magical artefacts of any kind.

[Assuming that's what this was - Merlin would have to taste Watanuki's magical energy, so to speak, to determine if it was just that, or if emotional fatigue was involved.]

When Artoria first successfully fired an energy beam from Caliburn, it took her three days to recover, and another week to stop apologizing to Sir Ector for cutting a new path through his fields and into the nearby forest.

Edited 2020-12-15 16:18 (UTC)

[Wait until Watanuki started passing out randomly due to receiving visions. Merlin, unfortunately, had a very sneepy student.

But the chair was appreciated, as was the support. The drain on his energy seemed to come from the same source as Yuuko's magic, though the full reason for it was still obscured. It would take some magical study, as well as a conversation with Yuuko, to get the full story.]

That must be it. I've never really done anything magic before, besides seeing ghosts.

[That story was pretty fantastical, and Watanuki could already imagine an older man lecturing a young girl for using such a powerful magic. It made him chuckle a bit, which was also a good sign that he was starting to recover.]

She must have been pretty strong, if she pulled that off.

[Merlin would definitely be talking to Yuuko, once he's gathered his own observations.]

That she was. [Thanks to Merlin meddling with the circumstances of her birth, though no one but Uther needed to know that.] Not that anyone would've suspected it at first, when she was younger. Even if she was eager to learn, she still got easily tricked during spars. After training, there were times I found her sleeping in the stables, on a haystack in the stall next to her favorite horse.

Even after she drew the Sword of Selection and started winning wars, not everyone was convinced she was the king they needed. Goes to show you how might and magic aren't everything.

Isn't she one of the greatest kings who ever lived?

[People could be ignorant, man.

But still, he had to respect that dedication and hard work.]

Moreover, how did she even deal with people like that? I don't think I could handle people that rude.

[He already deals with rude people by avoiding them and being a shut-in.]

Yes.

In fact, she focused on turning herself into the perfect king, and several magic artefacts that came into her possession aided her in attaining that state. A king who was just, merciful and not easily angered, even to those who were rude to her. A king who purely acted on the interests of the kingdom, and never for herself.

She became someone who didn't understand the hearts of her people, and they, hers. Humans, of course, have a tendency to be uncomfortable with what or who they don't understand. Eventually, discontent began to spread amongst the ranks, culminating after many a year into the rebellion that was the Battle of Camlann.

[He'd warned her of this before she drew Camlann from the Stone, even showed her the fate that awaited her on that last battlefield. He still remembered how Artoria smiled as she accepted that outcome, believing that she could carry that burden for as long as she could save Britain.

Her grief atop that hill after slaying Mordred, before Bedivere found her, couldn't be more different.]

Edited 2020-12-16 00:36 (UTC)

So by being impartial, she missed out on the more human traits needed in ruling.

[Huh. That seemed like a contradiction. Being as impartial as possible maid for fair rulings, but then people saw you as not invested in the outcome. No wonder the end of the Round Table was a tale of tragedy.

Hmm. It was some food for thought, at least.]

Is that something I have to worry about? Getting too much attention as I get stronger and then getting constantly judged for what I do?

More or less.

You also must remember that the idea of justice was harsher at the time, and that included the death penalty. Some individuals in court also thought she was being too lenient. It came to the point that certain executions conducted by a few individuals from her court were not reported to her - they believed they were also acting in the interests of the kingdom.

[Mordred before Morgana's second intervention, then Agravain. It's no accident that the Goddess Rhongomyniad from a certain Singularity, whose perspective was already different from a human's, had become that ruthless once he was summoned.]

As for yourself - you've already experienced being judged by others before coming here, have you not? [Just pointing that out.] While it's true that only getting stronger will risk drawing more attention to yourself, the opinion of others only becomes your immediate concern if they act to either take advantage of or harm you.

People will think what they will, Watanuki. So why let that affect you in doing as you wish?

[The real answer was that Watanuki was kind of lonely and would have liked to have a friend or two. The thought of being judged by everyone without anyone to back him up was just a little daunting.

But he didn't say that. Those worries were very personal, and he didn't want to open himself up to criticism from Merlin. So he went with another answer instead.]

Isn't the saying 'power corrupts'? I don't want to become someone who abuses power.

[And then he realized the implications of his words, and he was quick to correct himself.]

Not that your story tells me King Arthur was abusing power, but people must have thought something like that, right?

[Given this line of questioning, did Watanuki want someone to call him out for it? Ah, but addressing what was actually said came first.]

That would be the typical story, no? But not in Artoria's case. Like I said, everything she did was in service to Britain, and her conduct was so serious that she couldn't be accused of duplicity. She turned down proposals that gave her unfair advantage, much to her ministers' consternation, and often deflected every word of praise sent her way.

Really, that child could've gained something from being a little selfish. The same goes for you if you're asking that question: wanting your own happiness, especially if you attain that by using your own magic or other means at your disposal, isn't the same as abusing power. Those who understand will not think any less of you for it.

Edited 2020-12-16 16:00 (UTC)

["Those who understand will not think any less of you for it."

Nice words, and ones Watanuki wanted to believe. It was just hard to believe without anyone to back them up right now.

Still, he just sighed. Instead of getting upset, he just looked annoyed.]

You make it sound so simple, but I know it's not.

A bit too early to tell, isn't it, when you've barely even started. [He waved the now crumpled paper between his fingers.] Besides, that kind of assessment tells me you're giving yourself too little credit. A lot of individuals would've jumped at the chance to be trained by yours truly with little regard for losing themselves. You, on the other hand, only arrived here out of necessity, and you're not even excited by the possibilities.

Can you guess what's the difference between a talented mage and an extraordinary one? Assuming that both have an equal amount of power at their disposal.

[He considered the possibilities there. What was the difference between talent and being extraordinary? He suspected it wasn't just a 'magic' thing, and that it could be applied to other topics besides magic. So he thought back to his schooling, and the lessons he had learned.]

...effort? The more someone tries and works hard, the better they become at something. Talent doesn't matter if the person with the talent doesn't apply themselves.

[He suspected Merlin was trying to lecture him on that point, but that just made him irritated.]

Almost. Effort is a vehicle - but not all magic has to be difficult.

[Case in point: Merlin had only gotten lazier after being a virtual shut-in for over a millennium, but even when he was able to walk in the world he favored certain tactics that'd help him get out of messes scot-free, finish the job quicker and go back to playing around.]

It's imagination. There are all sorts of limitations to certain spells, tools and what-have-you, but magic in itself is boundless. An exemplary mage with enough power will envision something spectacular and work through the circumstances they find themselves in, seeing opportunity in what others think of as barriers.

At the end of the day, magic is but a tool to accomplish one's ends, and there's no rule that says a powerful person must be a tyrant or an enemy to mankind.

So what's stopping you from choosing to be kind every time you use magecraft? If you really want to help others with magic, you're free to do so - and believe me, there are plenty of humans looking for all sorts of ways to get out of their personal problems that rise from genuine need or otherwise.

If you go down that route, however, you should take care to not end up like the hero Siegfried. From what I saw of him, he didn't really look happy towards the end.

Edited 2020-12-17 14:54 (UTC)

[Ah, imagination. That was one of Watanuki's weaker skills. He was talented in the kitchen and good at retaining information given to him, but he hadn't really had a chance to imagine his own outcomes yet. His creativity was more in line with 'add your own personal flair to a time-tested recipe'.

Then again, magic was like that, wasn't it? Merlin was to teach him the recipes for magic, and he would add his own flavor to them. Maybe he could be kind, if he tried hard to use his magic for others and not wholly to benefit himself.

But then again, Merlin was making it sound like anything was possible, so long as Watanuki imagined it. Was it really that simple? Watanuki was a bit of a skeptic.

In the coming months and years, both men would quickly learn that Watanuki's main limitation was his own stubborn mind. Overcoming that was the key to unlocking Watanuki's magic potential. ]

You know that goes against my entire educational experience up to this point, right?

[Oh, Japanese schools. Rote memorization did not help with magic.]

...but alright. I'll try it. And I'll try not to get overwhelmed by it.

It won't be 'education' if you don't learn something new, would it?

[Yep.

To also be fair, it wasn't just modern education that had rote memorization. That sort of thing was also necessary for the druids and shamans of old in passing down the oral tradition, although various storytellers included their personal flair when they narrated for an eager audience.

At Watanuki's acceptance, though - well, avoiding getting overwhelmed was part of it, sure, but was he really avoiding the why Siegfried was a cautionary tale for that kind of mentality? Or was that legend unfamiliar to Watanuki?

Well, they'd address any issues that occurred when they got to it. Merlin simply clapped once and tucked the paper with scribbles in his sleeve.]

That's a start.

Do you have other questions? If not, it might be good if you begin preparing your dinner. Training starts tomorrow.

[He absolutely did not know how Siegfried was, so the lesson was lost on him. He got the implications though, that he shouldn't devote himself solely to making others happy. Someday he would have to look up that legend to fully understand what Merlin was telling him.]

No questions, I'll go make dinner.

[His head was still spinning from everything he had learned already, so it would take time for the questions to come to him. Just as it would take time for him to truly figure out what Merlin was like. 'Weird, but helpful' was his current assessment, but he had yet to see just how much of a garbage man Merlin was.

Dinner that night was a simple meal: a simple udon soup with some fried tofu and a few of those swirled fish cakes. He made up two bowls of it, though by the time he was done cooking and preparing the bowls he was left wondering what to do next. Would Merlin stop by for dinner, or did he need to bring the food to Merlin?]

[Watanuki might find out about Merlin's terrible habits sooner rather than later, depending on how training went tomorrow.

Or now, perhaps. Because Merlin was still in the study, napping on the reclining sofa and checking in on Romani's progress. Really, it was rare for Merlin to take interest in individuals, and having a second person now in the form of Watanuki was, perhaps, a sign of the times - just how was that computed prediction going to come about?

So yeah, Watanuki might want to go looking for Merlin. Having someone else in Avalon who wasn't Cath Palug might take time getting used to.]

[Yeah, he was about to find out about that, if Merlin was using a computer or something. Because while Watanuki would normally try to respect Merlin's privacy, even he couldn't resist the urge to snoop if something was right there for him to see.

Then again, if Merlin was using his future sight to peek, Watanuki would assume Merlin was just sleeping and frown while waving a hand in front of his face. Then he will complain to himself.]

He tells me to cook, and then he goes to sleep?

[No computers - yet. In a few weeks' time, Merlin would have this idea that might necessitate the creation of a bastardized one. He didn't actually need the tech, especially later down the line when he'd take it upon himself to become a certain facility's power supply, but funneling everything through "wires" made it easier to disguise his presence, you know?

So yeah - Merlin was using his clairvoyance at the moment. While he couldn't use it to see the future or the past, with the Singularities themselves being eventual exceptions given that history itself was unstable, it was very useful in getting real time updates.

Like now.

It was impossible to miss Watanuki's close proximity to his body in his dreamlike state. As if Watanuki's magic wasn't enough of a flag, the state of his existence added to that beacon, and Merlin withdrew from his trance to crack open an eye.

Returning to his body wasn't so different from waking up, and he shifted rather sluggishly.]

Hmm?

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